Sometimes it is harder to deprive oneself of a pain than of a pleasure.

Sometimes it’s so hard to speak about the past when you’re seeing it from such a new angle. What was once so innocent now makes you cringe with regret. The nights I once spent laughing with friends and running through the sand seem more like dreams now. I will try and explain the events of that summer as I saw it then but I must speak slowly because every moment I force myself to retell become so painful. I think that this last year was a scab that I wouldn’t let heal. I kept picking at it and watching it bleed. I spoke so often of what happened that I couldn’t move on with my life. And all though I can still see the scar I believe that even that is beginning to fade. So hopefully this will be the last time I tell this story. I don’t want to forget any of it regardless of how sad it can make me, because I have learned so many lessons. I’ve grown so much with my mistakes and it has made me who I am now. Yes I am somewhat bitter, but so much wiser. And best of all free from all of it.