You may say Im a dreamer, but Im not the only one.

So once upon a time in a land not so very far away this little dreamer met what she thought was to be a shinning white knight. His arrival was greatly anticipated. Being the first boy we had had in Starbucks in over a year and a half. I felt an instant connection with the would be prince. His smile was absolutely illuminating. And of course he possessed one of my favorite qualities; sarcasm. I felt like I laughed all summer with him. We sparked together, finally I felt galvanized by someone else’s presence. It was hard to believe when the phone was always ringing with someone who wanted to talk to me. Someone who called for no reason at all but to talk about their day and listen about mine. That the line at chickfilla was long on his break and the syrups had changed at our store. I wonder when talking about nothing for hours ever became so interesting. I cared about every minute detail and hung on every word. I was perfectly content lying in the grass in my backyard talking on the phone until my ear nearly bled. I thought at the time I was building a strong friendship that would soon become a budding romance. I built a hundred stories with that boy…memories that rose up like a great wall. A wall that I thought kept us safe and close, but soon I would be looking up at the wall alone; blocked off from him and everything I thought I wanted. He made me question everything I was about. I tried things I said I never would…because god knows as stubborn as I say I am I will always follow the lead of a dough eyed boy who feigns interest. I became so caught up in liking him. It’s a strange thing when you feel yourself falling but don’t try and stop it. I let go whole heartedly. Never before had I been so sure of anything. In my mind it was so set; I liked him and he liked me. And that maybe just for once everything was going to work out ok. But I just kept waiting, and waiting, and then waiting for something to happen. But what happened I could have never fathomed. If you had asked me a year ago the likelihood of me being attacked by polar bears who spoke perfect French or falling for some silly boy, going half crazy, and moving to Orlando I think I would have gone with option A. I’ve sat here at this computer trying to type out an explanation for 9 days. And I feel that the best thing to do to make you understand my involvement with Prince (but he seemed so) Charming is to tell the events of the last year in a series of very detailed stories. And that you may deduct any conclusions yourself. Because how can I ever explain to you in a few short paragraphs what has happened to me. From who I was to who I became. And maybe sometime by the end of this we will all get a better understanding of who I will be. So hopefully through my words you will get a sense of it all. That you may smell my tears, hear my laughter, and feel my heart beating from anticipation to disappointment. Yes I’ve always lived my life as if it was a movie. Those cameras are always rolling. Not that I am in any way an actor playing a role of someone else. Just that I am always playing myself to the fullest. And that I always seem to be getting played.

Beyond the looking glass

So how does one end up in this place? Down the rabbit hole. From one beach side burnt out 80’s tourist town once made famous by MTV spring breaks to the city where all your dreams come true. Yes I left the sound of screaming NASCAR fans and the sands of the world’s most famous beach for the sparkling city of Disney magic and the Orlando magic. Though Shaq left years before I arrived the place was at no loss for stars. It seems like every person I’ve met here has a star like story to tell or at least that movie star attitude. I myself am an admitted drama queen. I was fed up with my life in Dirtona. I was barely ever going to school; aside from the occasional hippie dippy art class I took I wasn’t doing much. Since High school graduation I fell into a 2 year limbo. I didn’t want to think about the future. I didn’t want to grow up or move on because I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. It seems that I had maybe dreamed too big for too long. Maybe someone should have sat me down sooner and told me that it would be pretty difficult to find a college where I could major in being a princess\rock star\ballerina\millionaire\cupcake taster. I had too much pride and I was too scared to take that leap into adulthood, because failure was not something I had faced before. My peter pan complex left me spending my mornings sleeping later than I should just to drag my ass to the beach just to lie around for several more hours. I traveled through my days with ipod buds in my ears and the thoughts of what could but would never be blasting though my head. I spent a lot of time trolling the local thrift store for vintage jewelry and handbags or sweating away my formally very large body in the gym. Many of my evenings were spent with what few friends I still had in town. And we thought we owned that sand bucket. We were legends in our own minds. Just a few silly girls who dressed like they were New York elite and spent 3 nights a week eating at swanky sushi restaurants when we were in actuality still living at home with our middle class working parents. Each of us was grappling with the end of our teenage years in our own way. We’d drive around A1A with our windows down and the speakers blaring, dreaming of when we’d get the hell out of this place. We were living in a salt air dream world. A world I’m now trying to balance with the real one. Oh here now I’ve forgotten to mention my once favorite Dirtona activity; working about 20 hours a week at Target Starbucks. Inside that store I was in charge. I may have not been the officially boss but I oversaw so many aspects of our little coffee world. And I was never as happy as I was when I was in control of things there. It was a sick sort of power trip, but the role of leader I loved playing. It’s funny to think back on things and realize where the changes began. These changes lead to me in a period of two months secretly saving up enough money to escape Dirtona and start a new life here. I would have to say my caffeine kingdom started shaking at the beginning of last summer. I had in my two years of working there been through my fare share of target employed frogs. From every department they came with smiles, jokes, and broken promises. And I fell for every line. Because I am now and will always be the most hopeless and helpless of romantics. Yes their antics caused plenty of heartache and awful teenage poetry but none rival the summer of Prince (But He Seemed So) Charming. I actually think now is a great time to pause for the evening because just thinking of how much explaining I have to do makes me sleepy. Maybe it is best to wait until another entry to introduce the next character in my Fairy Odd Tale. So until we meet again my fare friends and subjects sweet dreams.